Just for Fun......

There are negatives and positives in everything in life.

For instance we hope to have a go at the record for circumnavigating Ireland in 2009. Thats about 670 nautical miles or nearly 800 statute miles. Either way, it's a long run in one go and with Stan navigating will probably take longer.

So we get to go around Ireland but you get to see nothing.

So we have decided to organise a RIB Rally around Ireland in June. We have or will have invited just about anybody we know crazy enough to attempt 6 days around Ireland in a RIB. In case your worried, it's not the boat bit I'm worried about. It's the stopping off for a quick cup of "Tea", followed by another days high speed Ribbing around to the next watering hole. Needs must but I'm gettinmg old.

So, if your feeling slightly suicidal because the credit crunch has gripped you tighter than your comfortable with, then there is only one thing to do. Come along for the spin. Lighten the load on life and help Stan figure out how best to light a ciggies at 40 knots.

We hope to do the trip in early June starting in Cork, heading west, and stopping in Killybegs along the way for tea. We know a nice man there.

If you are interested let us know.

Send me a mail at roundireland@pulsar.ie

Mac.

Team Pulsar Racing to Attempt Round Ireland Record in 2009

Team Pulsar Racing announced today they intend to have a go at the Round Ireland Record in 2009. They have just completed The Round Britain Offshore Powerboat Race in June and managed to complete the 1400 mile course with out any problems. .
“We had a complete blast racing around Britain and enjoyed every minute” said Justin Mc Inerney who skippered their Humber RIB Wolf during the race.

The whole summer has been spent planning and scheming and it was decided that the next thing to do was attempt the record for Round Ireland. The Team are planning to attempt the run using their Humber 8.5m Offshore RIB “Wolf” which was one of the boats that completed the Round Britain Race.

There is some work required to prepare the boat so that it has a real shot at the record. Something was mumbled about a new engine and some re-design work required on the console but the Team are keeping their cards close to there chest right now.

It is hoped that an attempt will be made early in the summer but this is entirely weather dependant. The boat will be prepared over the winter and will be sea trialled in March.

Denis Dillon from the ISA and the official record keeper under UIM International Racing guidelines is assisting with the formalities and will ensure that the record attempt is completed within UIM regulations.

Let the planning begin.

Justin Mc Inerney.
Team Pulsar Racing.

And the Lunacy prevails....

I'm back..............

It has been very difficult to get back online and start updating the blog so apologies .

Been busy trying to lead a normal life. Took the Family on holidays, tried working for a change, went to Southampton for the launch of the RB08 movie and met some interesting people.

And what do you know it's November already, and sher, summer is only around the corner. Winter keeps getting shorter thank goodness.

I have lots to update and will endeavour to do so in the coming months. We have a whole story to tell about the Race, our endeavours and what happened. In short, great fun, great people, great success. More later.

However, am I boring or just bored? The wife bought me slippers, and looked strangely at me. Something is up, she is trying to tame me......... aaaarggghhh.

So, in response I'm off with my able crew to have a go at the Round Ireland Record in 2009. Yes, we are going to race around the country at some point to see if we can get back sometime before we set off. It's the tides.....

We are also planning a RIB rally around Ireland at the beginning of June if anyone is interested. We hope to take 5-6 days and visit strange and interesting places around our wonderful Island and make a few new friends along the way.


More later. Mac.

Ain't Life a B.....ig Boat. Thanks Everybody.

The Round Britain Race Campaign began in earnest last October when I decided it was the thing to do. I called a few hapless, lonely, middle aged geezer's like myself and sher wouldn't ya know they all said "jeez, sher that's a fine speech Norah, We're on" ( Well, no they didn't all say that, only Stumley, but they all agreed to go, gimme a break)

Well, 8 months later we are nearing the off. To say that it has been a doddle would be an understatement. Along the way, I have had to deal with a feckless boat builder and generally mad but beautifully poignant Welsh Man,his family and a bloody parking meter.

I have had to deal with the peccadilloes of the crew and Christ they were many. Revlon and his trouser problem, Pointless and his overly energetic wife, (Wales is still talking about her and secretly we were are all jealous), Stumley and his cigarette issue, and of course myself and my brilliantly soft and gentle nature. Contrary to popular misunderstanding the crew WILL love me.

There have been moments over the last few weeks when I started to wonder.

Wonder what the hell we were all doing. Wonder why I had to have a mid life crisis in mid life. Wonder why our wives were willing to go along with this great adventure.

I reckon that when I get to meet all the various crews during the coming weeks there will be general realisation that apart from the boats, the race, and the lunacy, we all have a lot in common.

The words Patience, Payback, and Piss off come to mind.

Getting to the point, It is with great appreciation, understanding, and thanks that I salute all the friends of Team Pulsar.

To the Welsh Rarebit, his Family, Staff, and friends. Your Priceless... ( I kill me...tee hee hee).

To my colleagues and Friends at Pulsar Direct. It is a great privilege to work with such a smart bunch of people. I include the entire team of Pulsar UK and Ireland. Thanks for your patience.

Pulsar deserves a few special mentions. Paul, Pat, Frank, Bob & Steve, many thanks for your support, organisation and down right hard work.

Stuart, who designed our website. Your a gem. Stay the way you are.

All our Sponsors. Without you, we have nothing. As Suppliers to Pulsar, as supporters of Pulsar and as our Friends. To the Future. Thanks.

Guido, 34 handicap requires a dress.

The Crew.

What can I say. Your willingness to get involved is questionable.........

Your willingness to stay with the program is borderline lunacy.

Your help, good nature, great humour, bad socks, trouser problems, smoking (Stumley) is now legend. Me, I'm actually perfect which in itself is ironic.

Thanks Guys.

The next few weeks will be a test for sure, but I am confident we have the best bunch of nutters in this race. I love you all. Stay well.

Col. Greg.

Team Pulsar "Vampire", Army rations, Army bits, Army Know How, an RV, A trip from Cambodia, A tent, and now Claire. Where does it all end. is the iPod fully loaded?

Finally, but by no means least.

The Wolf families.

To Alex and Kaya. Their Cake Sales raised loads and their effort is the most important.

The Wolf Kiddies (or Cubs).

Alex, Kaya, Luke, Jazmin, Conrad, Sam, Sean, Sarah & Aby.

Be nice to Daddy when he comes home, he will have a sore bottom.

You're the future. Dare to Dream.

The WOPS.

Anto, you're a Babe. Your hospitality is legend. Barefoot Contessa eat your heart out.

You cooked, cleaned, drank limoncello, giggled, laughed, and generally made our Team weekends an unbelievable pleasure. Unreservedly, Thanks.

Rosie, Roisin & Susie, I appreciate that when we began this campaign we slightly underestimated the commitment. I know the Crew are giving a lot of their and your time and that perhaps in hindsight one may have reconsidered. Again but by no means least, Thanks.

We are almost set for the off. The Boat travels to the UK this week to arrive in Post Solent by Thursday for scrutineering and race administration.

Get there, do it safely, and win.

Good luck to all. If I forget anybody, apologies, I'm tired.

Revlon has me doing checklists for my checklists checklist. It's in the detail.

I only hope I can sing.

Are we there yet?

Mac.

Pointless, Legless, Useless and Penniless.

The Crew just won't grow up. Try as I might to get them to act responsibly they just will not listen.

This weekend marked the second full training weekend for Wolf and Crew. The plan was that the UK contingent would come over and we would run Wolf down the West Cork coast to Crookhaven. Pointless brought the wife and kids and Revlon (Useless) brought a hire car. (Long Story).

Stumley (Legless) and The Bad Man (Penniless) prepared the boat, loaded thousands of litres of petrol and off we went. Useless joined later by car. The weather was magnificent and the conditions somewhat misleading but we made it in 1 Hour and 36 minutes. Not bad, and we finally worked out what propeller we needed.

A brief stop in Cape Clear looking for light refreshments failed. When we enquired when the Pub opened we got a brief but concise response, "Mary will be back in a while" and when we asked how soon she would be back we got a muttered "October".

On to Crookhaven. Emma was open, (so was the pub) and the beer was cold.

The following morning Penniless decided that the fact that Useless had brought a hire car and would have to return by road to Cork on Sunday we should all head to Bantry on another training run. Penniless woke Pointless, then woke the B&B owner to get Useless out of bed and then visited every mobile home in Crookhaven looking for Legless.

Much cursing later, 1 or 2 very sick heads, and we went to Bantry.

Why? Not sure really but probably because we could. 1 hour and 5 minutes there and the same coming back. Wolf took a fairly snotty head sea all the way up Bantry Bay and actually liked it. Pointless said it was his driving skills but myself and Legless believe it was the abuse we gave him from the back every time he dared to drop below 30 knots.

Things like "Where's your booster seat ya Muppet!" and "Go on ya big girls blouse!" and other niceties like that encouraged him to try racing and forget sightseeing. (He actually searched for his camera)

Running the other way was actually worse.

We got 40 knots off Whiddy and we reckon Useless actually has a use. If we fling him overboard we will get 2 extra knots. Ballast comes to mind.

Saturday night was one of blurred confirmation. Munster won the rugby, and of course we had to celebrate. Useless scared the locals with his dress sense, Heron's Cove for dinner at 9pm where we were joined by Pulsar's UK Manager Side Show Bob and his lovely Wife. They came over for a few days holidays, but They will probably need counselling after we finished with Them on Saturday night.

Now you may be wondering why all these stupid names. I have given this much thought and simply,

"you had to be there".

Way too much wine, far too much beer, and of course we thought we were hilarious. Just laugh at the T-Shirts............

Sunday was a bit more like it. Useless was in his Yaris, and the Rest of the Crew were heading to Cork on board Wolf. Force 6-7, very nasty head sea, a very wet crew, and 3 and a half hours later we made Kinsale. Yuck......

Things we learned this weekend:

1. Wolf is still a great boat.
2. Crookhaven and Goleen in the Sunshine is heaven.
3. Heron's Cove is still fantastic.
4. You can have a chacklist for everything.
5. Pub's do not open in Cape Clear. Apparently until October.
6. Pub opening times should be on a checklist.
7. "A" Frame's and Raydomes do not work well together.
8. We need a stainless steel welding machine!
9. Changing to a correct prop helps.
10. Stumley is chewing Champax. We haven't the heart to tell him what they are really for.
11. Drysuits are better on you, than in a drybag.
12. The WOP's can drink Limoncello with a vengeance.
13. Grabbner life jackets are actually very good.
14. There are way too many bloody headlands coming back to Kinsale.
15. No Useless, the shark was not a Great White.
16. Petrol is cheaper in Goleen. We saved a whopping €8 Euro's. There is a god.
17. Useless is actually very good at checklists.

Any hoo, enough waffle. More next weekend when we run to Sherkin with a large group of boats. Weather permitting it should be good fun.

Mac.

The Wolf and the Rarebit......

What a way to travel.

Me (The Bad Man), Revlon, Pointless and Stumley headed of on a big adventure recently to the wilds of Wales on Wolf. The logic was to test the boat, bang it about a bit as we crossed the Irish sea, and when we got there give it to the Rarebit so he can put all the bits that fell off back on.

In reality we joined the great Team of organisers and slightly mad Ribsters who made up the flotilla that was the 2008 Kinsale to Milford Haven Rib Run in support of the RNLI. 17 Boats and crew departed Kinsale on the 24th heading to Dunmore East in Waterford, a course of about 70 miles.

Conditions were forecast to be an Easterly wind blowing at about force 4-6 and with a good swell. The run to Waterford fooled us all. Going was relatively painless (Shockwave Seats) and we made port in about 3 & 1/2 hours. We had 2 boats withdrawn due to mechanical failure and one that had some running repairs but did make it over to Milford Haven.

Wolf lost a Nav Light but to be fair it was mounted on one of those pretty bracket thingies that looks good but didn't last the Sovereigns (20 Mins). Other than that everything worked fine.

Then the fun started. What should have been a reasonable crossing turned into an 8 hour slog. The sea state was so poor that it was a battle just to stay on course and maintain any sort of pace. We finally arrived in MIlford Haven at about 8pm, cold, hungry, but very very pleased with the boat. We had experienced conditions that tested both Crew and Boat and apart from a major soaking Wolf handled everything really well.

More useless stuff we have learned:

1. Wolf is a lot better than we had hoped for.


2. Dry Suits are bugger all good in a dry bag strapped to the Samson post in the bow.


3. Pretty Nav Light and GPS brackets are a waste of time on an A Frame.


4. Smoking at 35 Knots is a waste of time. (Stumley)


5. You Pee a lot in the first hour and a Zip the opens both ways is a must have.


6. Revlon cant sing.


7. Ski Goggles in the cold and wet work brilliantly. Sunglasses are crap.


8. Smoking at 30 Knots doesn't work either. (Stumley)


9. Water gets in to everything and Lidl Wet Pants are not good value even if they were the right colour. (Stumley)


10. Pointless has a point, Radar in a fog is very handy.


11. Shockwave seats Rock.


12. The Rarebits Wife can drink with the boys.


13. The Rarebits Wife can drink like the boys. (Except Revlon for obvious reasons)


14. Bad Mans Wife can drink more than the boys.


15. Pointless's Wife needs to get out more, 4 times indeed. Maybe we should call him Countless instead.


16. Stumley forgot he was one of the boys.


17. Smoking at 25 Knots doesn't work either. (Stumley.....again)


18. Revlon's Wife cant sing either and the Sat Nav is bloody wrong darling...


19. Things go better in a flat calm sea.


20. Things do fall off......


21. Pointless told Stumley smoking was pointless at 20 knots which in itself was pointless.


22. The Shed Restaurant in Porthgain and Morgans in St. Davids are both excellent.


23. The Kinsale Ribsters are totally certifiably mad.


24. Everybody likes Lamb.... sssssshhhkkk.... and a warm Chinati Darling.

To say we had an interesting weekend is an understatement and the topping on the cake was running over the bow wave of a large Ferry at 28 knots in a fog. God bless Radar and AIS.

Thanks to all involved in our adventure on behalf of Wolf and Crew. To all at Quinquari Marine for putting up with us, for drinking with us, for putting the bits back on, and for showing us the wonderful hospitality Wales has to offer.

To Mike Rogers and his Wife at Tubed Ltd for their hot tea, warm welcome and cool graphics. Excellent talented people in Wales.

To the organisers of the Kinsale Rib Run. Well done, brilliant trip and continued success.

And last but obvioulsy not least the WOPS for all their continued support.

A pleasure and some new friends made along the way.

Mac.

Make the Bad Man go away.

A fine weekend was had by all in St Davids with much celebration not to mention a successful first sea trial of the simply awesome Wolf. However I am here to report on a key activity of the weekend, attempting to give each crew member a nickname.

The nature of nicknames and the reasons that they get associated to an individual are numerous and quite hard to define but for whatever reason some times they just "stick". To date I think we potentially have three "stickers" so lets have a quick review;

Guy
Was Maps due to his unquestionable depth of navigational skills and experience. However this has been superseded by the perfect sticker Pointless. Why did it stick;

1. Descriptive, well yes.
2. Humorous yes (I refer to point 3).
3. Cruel and a little unsympathetic undoubtedly, but a term of endearment.

Stan
Stumley which is best delivered as a bit of a bellow with plenty of emphasis on the "ley". When in trouble just shout Stumleeeeey and the man who mends will be at hand. Why did it stick;

1. Humorous yes, it's just funny.
2. Descriptive, I can't explain why but strangely yes.
3. A term of endearment.

Justin
Bad Man which is of course very unfair because he just isn't but, in the nature of nicknames, is possibly why this one will stick. Justin waking a hungover team at an ungodly hour to our cries of "make the Bad Man go away" became the catchphrase of the weekend. Why did it stick;

1. Humorous yes.
2. Descriptive well no, therefore yes.
3. Inappropriate yes and therefore an ideal term of endearment.

I could well see this one being shortened to BM which could also be Big Mac, which again follows the trend because the Bad Man is not big.

Paul
I was called many names over the weekend, so many in fact that the origins of some have been lost in the "haze" of the occasion and some are frankly unrepeatable.

Numbers, Dyson, Revlon, Carrots, Dozey, Ballast, Sleepy, Tight Pants..... the list went on and on however, and please correct me if I am wrong, none of them was a really sticker.

I know its coming, it will just take one incident, one mistake or some smart arse comment and bang a hypocorism ( you will have to Google that one) will stick.

Wolf is Irish (Gaelic) for Boat

Yes, officially Wolf floats.

The Team at Quniquari Marine stuck Wolf's toe (paw) in the water the other day and guess what, it was a success. It floated and the engine started.

Finally, we are off to Wales to collect the boat this weekend.

Then it's many mad weekends testing around the Irish coast including a RIB run to Milford Haven on the 24th.

Thanks to all at Quinquari Marine for a job well done. Great People, Great Workmanship, (Ship...tee hee hee, I kill me...) Great Boat.

Wonder how fast it goes?

Thanks to the Rarebit.

Mac.

He had to mention the Fastnet

I got a call today from the Power Boating division of the Irish Sailing Association.

Intrigued as to how we managed to come up on his radar I listened.

"I hear your into powerboat racing" he said. " I represent the official body for power boat racing in Ireland and if there is anything we can do to help please let me know" he said.

" Would you be interested in doing some more racing in Ireland" he asked, "What about the record for going around Ireland" he added. "We are the official record keepers you know" he continued.

Well that was it wasn't it, he had to go and say that didn't he. Then he went on to mention the record for Cobh to the Fastnet Rock and Back again. More bloody challenges.

What was he trying to do to me. Did he not know I could'nt resist. So gamely I emailed the crew for a laugh and of course being silly bastards they asked "When?"

Anyway, the gloves are off and we're off to the Fastnet. Anybody interested in Powerboat racing in Ireland should know that the ISA are supporting this and looking for people to get involved. Give them a shout, get out there.

Now where is the Fastnet again?

Mac.

PAWS or WOPS

The Squeezes are getting shirty. Had to happen really.

Yes, we can finally conclude that the chances of getting away with our adventure without burning a few brownie points are absolutely nil.

Team Pulsar being roughty toughties (so we thought) has no hope against the WOPS. Yes, we had to call them something and instead of WAGS, we decided on WOPS, "Wives of Pulsar Shopping".

"Seemed to go down well" I said, "Yeah, like your bloody boat" she said. Tisk, Tisk!

Anyway, why WOPS, why not PAWS for "Pulsar Angry Wives", or WOW for "Wives on Wolf",
we could go on forever.

Suffice to say that It falls to me as the instigator to make amends.

Girls, we couldn't do it without you, such is your brilliance.

I can see the T-Shirts now, "The Time spent at Sea is directly proportional to the size of my headache" or "W.O.P.S on Tour" or simply "W.O.W".

Says it all really. Wonder whats for dinner?

Honeeee I'm home!

Mac.

A Welsh Rarebit

Some things that need updating....

The Welsh are madder than the Irish (although credit to the Rugby Team), the English cannot write English anymore, the Americans are loosing the plot,the Japanese make simple complicated and Canada is a long way away.

The story unfolds though...

The Welsh Rarebit has called to say he has finally finished the boat. "Come and take that bloody thing out of the yard" he said, "and for god sake, don't bring the wife flowers any more, they are still alive".

Tip: Marks & Sparks flowers never die, it's the ultimate present that keeps on giving, I'm legend in Wales.

Anyhoo, back to the wonderful Wolf. Myself and the caravan owner are heading over to Wales on the 11th to collect the boat. Rarebit has announced all is finished but to be honest he's confused. He has never met two odd Irish men coming over from the heartland to collect a new thingy. We'll find fault for sure.

That Gavin on the rugger Team, what a sweety. I bet the Rarebit a tenner on Ireland, he upped it to a tank of fuel, (400 litres), Ireland lost. How a tenner turned into 400 litres of fuel I will never know, maybe the Rarebit is clevererer than I thunk.

The nice thing is I know where he lives, and his prodigy is coming across the Irish sea with me on the wonderful Wolf. A hostage takin comes to mind.

What bet? And we haven't even started negotiating?

Now the English... Maps Nine Fingers O'Hayward, (we are buggered if he ever has to point the way) has lost the command of his English judging by his last post.

Seems I owe him a hug though, me and the Rarebit did wind on a bit but then again it was important to establish Celtic superiority on behalf of the Irish. Maps being such a polite chap obviously felt left out. If you see him give him a hug. Have you hugged your Maps today?

The Americans are great really, the dollar is heading the wrong way but if your off to Florida with the Family, sher you can't go wrong. Although I think the wifie will extract all benefit of dollar and the fact I'm off around England and spend every last penny.

Now the Japanese. God bless Suzuki. The new DF300 is fab, the new fly by wire throttles groovy, but god help you if you try to build a boat with a dual helm which Wolf has. The Rarebit has spent the last week cursing everything Japanese and trying to get the 2 throttles to communicate with each other, and with the engine. "I'm gonna splice it" he kept saying whilst foaming at the mouth. "Call Suzuki" he told me, "Give 'em hell" he lurched. It's a good job the flowers were still alive, they were needed at least 6 times this week when he broke more furniture.

Suzuki, in fairness were brilliant. They were getting ready to send an engineer in to darkest Wales, which actually turned out to be a bit of a situation in itself. Dave, the friendly Suzi engineer, when he heard about heading to Wales ran away to Australia, I'm not kidding. They had to draw straws but finally a brave sole was volunteered to head to Wales.

The Rarebit then had a break through this afternoon and finally managed to turn the instructions up the right way and read them correctly. All was not lost, it turns out that a thingy in the computer need tweaking and the Japanese had written that bit in JAPANESE of all things. The Rarebit has gone out for a Chinese with the Family this evening in celebration, I hope he can read the menu!

Finally, a dear auld uncle of mine called me the other day.

"Fancy catching a few Salmon in British Columbia" he said. "Can we go after lunch" I said, "I'm fierce busy trying to calm down the Rarebit" I said.

"Wha" he said, "Sher, British Colombia is in Canada ya eeegit" and "sher, it's miles away"

Mac.

Flat Earth

I "MAPS, Nine Digits" Hayward was asked to meet him wat had the money and him wats building the boat and using/taking the money, in a shed, a mile or two beyond the back of beyond in deepest darkest Wales. In fact, for all those who are members of the "Flat Earth Society" I am sure I have just visited one of the corners of said Flat Earth!!!

Having visited the shed in this wind swept part of the world I can confirm at least that said Noah's Ark MKII does actually exist........but here's the thing..... I am not sure how!!!

I was invited to visit the shed and see the boat to talk about all things nautical and maybe give some input on decisions regarding positioning of various bits of kit. Correct me if I am wrong but to give "input" requires being able to get at least a word in edge ways. Well, standing between an Irishman & a Welshman what chance was there of that??!!!!

Not getting said "word in edgeways" did not bother me one single jot but what was so amazing was that there before me was a nearly completed boat that must have required a certain amount of communication between said Irishman and Welshman. What I witnessed was two people talking but neither listening .......and to think they have only been married 3 months!! To be fair though I really should reserve judgement as it might not have been that no one was listening but merely a language barrier which makes the building of ARK MkII even more impressive!!!

Inspite of the monumental blagarding going on between boatbuilder and client I can report that Wolf has been born and should be floating mid April........I am not sure which way up and I don't think the Welshman is sure either but Wolf will be floating.

The only remaining thing that does worry me though is that the sea trials are going to be periliously close to the edge of the world and I for one don't want to be going and falling off before this epic race even starts!!!

signing off

yours truely

Maps, Nine digits

And now your building another Ark...

Sent from the mad boat builder having taken the pee last night, what hope have we got?

Mac,

Reminds me of that old film with James Stewart where things seem ever so bad.

Anyhow I have just checked my text messages and e-mail and note a "few" communications from our Celtic Brethern across the water.
(Mac foaming at the mouth, The Mad Boat Builder Chuckling)

Now the rant
I was quite taken aback and almost asked my Pa for some water from the holy well as I could not believe that a man of such standing could be so concerned with tiny matters such as Noah's boat (Wolf) (in fairness that boat never sank but got stuck on a rock called Arrarat and cause it left Noah F.A. left to do God felt obliged to pull the plug and let the water out of the bath- that's when the Syrians got a bit pissed off as they were higher up than the said to become Jews as they reckoned they were in for a mega win .... that's another story

(and you building a f..ing Ark again).

After a bad day chasing silly buggers for no reason I did enjoy a call from my most expensive client (Mac) (at my cost that is) and even him calling me a s..t! (trust me it's the cleaner version)

That's life ... as they say ...A Wonderful Life !!!

I hope this thing floats - hows the diet.

Regards,
J (aka Mad Boat Builder)

and if this bloody thing floats can we please post all these mails on the web site one day !(Your wish is my command) tee hee hee......

and ... I am sure you have seen the film a Wonderful Life ... if not then it is a must if you try too take to much out of this world.

Yes folks, it's official, I have finally managed to crack him and who knows what will happen to the boat. Make the bad man stop........

Mac. (Now known as Noah)

p.s. For all those overly sensitive out there we reservedly apologise, and that includes the sheep. Any historical, geographical, philosophical or other inaccuracies are as a result of a poor education, send money instead of having a go.

Wolf Is Alive....and living is Wales

Proof that Wolf exists has been sent from deepest darkest Hull where boat creators Humber reside.

Sue, the very nice lady there has kindly forward the first pictures of the new delivery and of course we have to show you all.

The mystery and suspense...

It brings a tear to my eye. Speaking of tears, that Welsh half-wit who is building the boat sent me a text yesterday that said "Boat is here but there " with NOTHING else. What the hell did that mean?

Having picked myself off the floor I rang him, no answer, I sent him a text, no answer, I emailed him, no answer. errrggggggh!

Finally he rang at about 9pm last night chuckling merrily at the fact that he had managed to take the piss and that in fact Wolf was safely tucked up in bed with his wife and he was sleeping in the shed. Now I know why he bought a new bed. Bless.

See his warblings on the next post. Questionable at best....

There could be trouble ahead!

Mac.

Great News.............

Stan has finally managed to acquire a new mobile home for the Family. He is very excited at finally owning his own and is looking forward to many happy years in the new holiday abode.

So proud in fact he has sent me a picture for all to enjoy.

Congrat's and we hope he can tear himself away long enough to take part in the Race this June. Difficult decision but then again Stan is your man.....

Mac

Things to consider......

Good News,

I have been informed that our new boat is progressing well and that "Wolf" is all but sorted.

It's amazing the amount of stuff you have to consider when building a boat, and in fairness how much you learn.

Humber whom are making the hull assure me that the build went well, and having even allowed for a few extra tweaks and improvements should have the boat in Wales by next Monday. I can almost hear a sigh of relief.

In the mean time Quinquari have all but sorted the electronics and await said Hull. There is more stuff connected to more stuff on this boat than I care to think about. The real question is do I need a handheld compass?

Things you consider when building/buying a boat....

1. Every penny you spend is multiplied by 3 when the wifey starts factoring in what's in it for her and how much she can spend in return.Keeping out of the divorce courts is nigh on impossible........ and it's all your fault.
2. Boat builders in Wales have no appreciation how much effort it takes to buy a new bed...
3. Man boob's never go away, they lurk..!
4. It take a lot longer and more effort than you could ever imagine to get fit!
5. You need at least 5 pairs of shorts and 5 t-shirts to stay ahead of the washing cycle..
6. Flying to or from Cardiff is expensive........
7. Petrol is always a bad decision.....

We persist......... hopefully the sun will shine.

Mac.

Suits You Sir................ Poor Stan.

It's amazing, I thought I had the biggest head in the world. No really, not because I was told so (although a few begrudgers would) but because I think I have never been able to find a crash helmet or cap that would fit me. It's the brains you see...

Then I asked the crew for their head sizes. Now apart from the fact that Paul got confused about which head to measure, it turns out that he and Guy have monster cranials as well.

"No, you must be wrong" said the guy at the helmet suppliers, "3 of you with XL Helmets and one Medium, we'll have to order the XL in" he said, "although we have plenty of medium, not much call for them these days" with a sympathetic tone to his voice.

Stan, ace skipper, and budding squash fanatic had ordered a size M for his bonce which is odd apparently.

Then I got to thinking and of course it's logical, 3 really clever crew with large brains and Stan with a medium brain, no wonder the guy at the helmet store was feeling slightly saddened by the thought. Poor Stan.

Then it came to ordering Musto gear and these ranged from medium salopettes (pants to the real world) and large Smock (I give up), to Stan with XL pants and XXL smock. By now I assume your getting the picture. Big Guy, small head...........

Poor Stan..............

Now don't start me on religion.............. or smelly socks !

Although praying about know seems like a good option, your man from Wales what is building the boat is sending me dirty text messages, shocked I was.

Mac.

Totally Useless Things.......

Just thinking about this boat race and guess what?

There is a load of stuff you have to do or know to be prepared...and it's all useless!

1. I have had at least 500 emails or sent the same since we started this campaign...
2. The Helmets are Called Urban and have to be orange with a large black number on the top so you can be seen from the air. Who knew?
3. St.Davids in Wales is the "smallest" city in the UK, Bless..
4. By the time the crew of Wolf have finished I calculate that we will have run over 3000km collectively and got absolutely no where...not even the pub.
5. We will drink over 10,000 litres of water.... where's the beer?
6. We will have traveled over 4000 miles by boat and guess what, we will have got no where. Portsmouth for goodness sake!

And on and on and on....

Mac.

570 Triathlons later.....

It's confirmed, Manuel is a monster.

His biog at the gym states he is from Madrid, no problem here, he has qualifications up the ying yang on how to torture people in the name of a healthy existence, and he likes to travel (I think it's because he keeps having to run away because he is completely mad) and finally, he has completed 570 triathlons, 30 odd marathons, can swim the channel before breakfast and he does it all for fun.

Sick...........

Any hoo, I went to the Gym on Wednesday to be assessed. I think he is still laughing, although he was highly impressed with my lung capacity at 7.5ltrs.
We went through the whole program having had to show him the website so he would understand what we are trying to do with RB08 and away we went.

Lift this, stretch that, thwannnnggg....... ouch!

Guess what, Manuel actually smiled at me, told his colleagues, "It's Justiiiiiiin my client, come on lets go do ze program....(laughing all the way).

I'm alive but only just. Not sure how, and I'm starting to wonder why I got talked into this madness in the first place. Just one cool Heineken...... only one

...............................Make the bad man stop.

Mac.

p.s: got a called from him up in Wales, the one with the hairy ear lobes, the one who is building Wolf. The seats have arrived he said. Customs have 'em at Heathrow he said, and guess what he said, they want £2000 to clear them and some other bod wants £180 to deliver to deepest darkest Wales. Frankly the £180 is cheap, people have been known to never come back, but surely the Customs have a heart. Pah...

Hotels & Helmet's......

Major Greg (Marsden) called today to tell me that the Gecko's were not going to work on our heads and the Grabners & Urbans were the only thing suitable, and that he had sent them to Neptune to see if they would talk.

What...............!

To say that the complications of this boat race are extreme is an understatement. The Gear we require to comply with the race regulations is unbelievable. Where do they get the names... Grabner & Gecko etc, one wonders if there is a particular type of marketing whizz dedicated to coming up with brand names whilst parachuting of a tall building, drinking a choco moco latte, and texting the office on their iphone.

Thank God for Major Greg, him of a technical nature. He has these really great spreadsheets with all the gear on, and then he has loads of colours to indicate whether it's a go (green) etc. He has decided to make his way in the world and sort all the technical bits for us and so far it sounds like he is on safari. So guys, when we turn up with bright orange full faced helmets to BS 6556 or whatever, they are Urbans, see, easy and it was Greg's fault.

The bright orange & yellow lifejackets are Grabners, again, Greg's fault. No fashion sense see. Neptunes are apparently still on the spreadsheet at amber.

Hotels are another thing. Trying to book hotels in June when it's only February seems to be considered a bit of a laugh in hotel land. We did succeed however and have managed to this bit organised. They are now Green.

So it's left to Greg and his Urbans. What a sight.....

Mac.

A great start in a small world

Would you Adam and Eve it.... (actually its Helen)

So I ask my network of clients and associates for suggestions for a local charity to support as I have entered this mad boat race thingy with a crazy bunch collectively know as the Wolfgang. A relatively new client of mine, (whose name is Adam), suggests that I speak with his wife, (her name is Helen, not Eve).

Helen is a matron at the Bristol Childrens hospital and manages the oncology, bone marrow and transplant units. The hospital is doing great work for the children in its care and is apparently due to be nominated as a centre of excellence in the UK.

I give her a call, tell her about the race and she tells me about the holistic support services unit that provides a variety of alternative treatments, primarily massage, to her patients varying in age from babies to teenagers. The positive effects of this service in improving the quality of the childrens time in hospital and sometimes their short lives cannot be overstated. Unbelievably however, the whole service is funded purely by charitable donations. They need in excess of £20,000 per annum just to maintain the current levels of the service which is available for only 15 hours per week but with additional funding they would extend the service.

Well how could I say no, they are now my nominated charity.

And then we get an email from John Price the man who is building Wolf our boat and I quote;

"I looked at your charity page and noted that you are supporting Bristol. This is great as our eldest child had a very very much life saving open heart there some 18 years ago. As a family and company we do make a number of significant donations a year and this whole thing seems to tie together whereby we would love to donate £1000 to you fund."

A big thanks to John..... A great start in a small world.

Guilt got the better of me......

Rumour has it that in order to ease the guilt of the Mac Attack on Monday last a certain marketing whiz was seen disappearing into the canteen at lunchtime with the healthy option bucket of Kentucky Fried Chuck......(yes, we have spies everywhere)

It seems we have work to do......

I suppose you could consider Chicken a move in the right direction...beats a carton of Tropical fruit and a soggy banana....truth be told I'm struggling......help.

Just got signed up for a 6 month stint in the Gym at the local spa..... I have been given an appointment to see Manuel the resident genius and apparently he can transform me in a matter of weeks. First I have to have a assessment..... "Then vee can work out ze program" he said smiling and finally "I shout to you tooo maka you run a lot"

Now I know we are supposed to be having fun but this is going to hurt. All the while Stevo from marketing is following a far more satisfactory program. Ouch.... Who's the idiot?

Mac

Speaking of the correct wrist action.....

It may come as a suprise but I think I have found one of the 6 missing packs. Not in the best of shape I may add but there never the less.

The training is going at such a lick that I reckon I'll be down to 12 stone by the beginning of the race. It's only the start of February and already I'm down 18lbs and in another way up £500.

You see, Steve our Marketing whizz and alround good guy (round being the optimum word here) bet me he could loose more weight during our Race preparation than I could based on percentage lost from a starting weight (which shall remain confidential). Unfortuantely he got mugged on Monday by a Big Mac and to sort himself out he selflessly ate it. Them's the breaks...

Now see, I reckon he forgot this little wager but now that it's alive on the website and that he will have difficulty denying the very existence of said wager perhaps he would like to pay up. No point in going on is there. Be a man, admit defeat, and move on I say....

I'm seriously thinking of asking our I.T. boffin to put up a belly cam to see and monitor his progress. Protect the investment and the like.

Wrist action is another matter altogether Maps.... and just to be clear, it's all about .....
Beer.

Mac.

p.s. Steve, not Big Mac, just Mac.

In search of the missing Six Packs...ouch!!

Personal fitness training for this epic challenge is, I am finding, a serious challenge in itself!!!
I went along to a "friendly" fitness coach at the local university for some advise. I told him about the challenge and the sort of pounding we are likely to take. I told him I hate long distance running with a passion and with that in mind could he put together a training plan for me? Well he did but he did not listen to my passionate dislike of running.......or so I thought!!!!

Basically he has tuned into the need for core strength and stability, leg endurance and mental toughness. Core strength exercises involves doing various balancing acts on and with a big inflatable gym ball. The exercises look simple but are not!!! Anyway I am starting to cope with ball balancing and the whole core stability thing. Leg endurance is dealt with by doing squats and running, and more running.........and more running!!!! Mental toughness........well this is where he did actually listen to me regarding my passionate dislike for running!!! He figured that if running is the one thing that I hate most then it is the ideal exercise to toughen me up mentally........I guess there is some sort of logic there...not that I wanted to hear it!!!

What else is in my programme?

• Grip strengthening.....particularly important for me being one digit down since Christmas!!! Using squeezy rubber balls and a thing called a powerball (basically a ball with a gyroscope inside - the faster it spins, the harder it is to hold so you have to grip harder to hold it ).......yes Mac it does work but you have to get in the groove with the right wrist action!!!


• Skiing 3rd week of March.......( Don't worry Mac I won't try pushing that through the expenses!!)


• Already opting out of the mental toughness training i.e. running!!!! Instead I am playing cardio tennis twice a week and will be doing more and more cycling once the weather improves. Might even throw in some swimming and rebounding for variety....far less impact on ageing joints......that's my excuse and I am sticking to it!!!

Post exercise warming down

I have been advised that the whole immersing yourself in icy water to help muscles recover post exercise is no longer the "in" thinking....thank God !!!!! A hot bath or shower followed by a glass of red wine apparently will do just as good. I would love to believe this so I'll give it a try until I've proved it wrong or anyone else can convince me otherwise!!!
(Paul ...I am sure you have an opinion on this being a fitness guru!!!)

Epilogue

Well here's to attempting to rediscover the missing six packs that have been mysteriously absent since the late eighties........Where did they go? They just seemed to quietly sneak out the back door when no one was looking........a cowardly act most foul!!!

Say good bye to man boobs, jelly tummies and love handles and a big HELLO to Six packs... Let's round them up, bring them home and firmly shut that back door!!!!!!.......gotta aim high....... onwards and upwards!!!!

PS: Any training tips that DON'T involve self denial, pain and serious self motivation gladly received.


Guy (Maps) Hayward

Night Time Pilotage and Cough Please...

Stan and I have just spent the weekend whizzing around the harbour of Cork in the dark, wondering why the compass is off by 15 degrees.

Night time pilotage is great fun having plotted a course on 4 sheets of A4 paper and then tried to read this in the dark, at speed, in a 5mtr RIB whilst holding on and hoping the notes don't blow away.

We managed to complete the weekend without too much damage, all be it a hangover on Saturday morning, (Stans Fault) and are now fully qualified to acquire the much coveted Race licence from those wonderful chaps at the RYA. Now we just need the medical sorting.... cough now please.

Thanks to all the guys we met at the weekend, and to Eddie, Jo, Con and Crew at http://www.sailcork.com/ who guided us successfully and safely through the weekend.
(It was mainly Richards and Joes fault by the way. :o) )

Moving on to more interesting things. We have heard from our illustrious boat builders, Quinquari Marine in Wales (no comment please) that Wolf is taking shape nicely and that nearly all the components for the build are in place.

Humber have all but finished the hull and once delivered we hope to have a completed boat by the end of March. Things happen slowly in the valleys.
Subject to a satisfactory birth and of course a few rips around the Ramsey sound it's back home to Ireland for some testing, training, and weekends in West Cork.

Mac.

It's Official

Yes Folks, Its Official.......

We have our very own blog.

We will be able to keep you informed, answer any relevant questions and generally try to cover all aspects of what is turnng out to be a very exciting and busy campaign.

So far things are heading in the right direction. It has been a busy few months organising Crews and training. I did think it would be difficult for me to get other people to join me on this endurance lunacy but I was wrong.

I made three phone calls to likely suspects and whata ya know, we got ourselves a very good crew indeed. Greg Marsden and Vampire then came on board a little later and Team Pulsar was taking shape.

There is lots to blog about and over the coming weeks and months I and the crew will add their thoughts, ideas and general ramblings for all to see.

Should be inetresting.

Mac.