PAWS or WOPS

The Squeezes are getting shirty. Had to happen really.

Yes, we can finally conclude that the chances of getting away with our adventure without burning a few brownie points are absolutely nil.

Team Pulsar being roughty toughties (so we thought) has no hope against the WOPS. Yes, we had to call them something and instead of WAGS, we decided on WOPS, "Wives of Pulsar Shopping".

"Seemed to go down well" I said, "Yeah, like your bloody boat" she said. Tisk, Tisk!

Anyway, why WOPS, why not PAWS for "Pulsar Angry Wives", or WOW for "Wives on Wolf",
we could go on forever.

Suffice to say that It falls to me as the instigator to make amends.

Girls, we couldn't do it without you, such is your brilliance.

I can see the T-Shirts now, "The Time spent at Sea is directly proportional to the size of my headache" or "W.O.P.S on Tour" or simply "W.O.W".

Says it all really. Wonder whats for dinner?

Honeeee I'm home!

Mac.

A Welsh Rarebit

Some things that need updating....

The Welsh are madder than the Irish (although credit to the Rugby Team), the English cannot write English anymore, the Americans are loosing the plot,the Japanese make simple complicated and Canada is a long way away.

The story unfolds though...

The Welsh Rarebit has called to say he has finally finished the boat. "Come and take that bloody thing out of the yard" he said, "and for god sake, don't bring the wife flowers any more, they are still alive".

Tip: Marks & Sparks flowers never die, it's the ultimate present that keeps on giving, I'm legend in Wales.

Anyhoo, back to the wonderful Wolf. Myself and the caravan owner are heading over to Wales on the 11th to collect the boat. Rarebit has announced all is finished but to be honest he's confused. He has never met two odd Irish men coming over from the heartland to collect a new thingy. We'll find fault for sure.

That Gavin on the rugger Team, what a sweety. I bet the Rarebit a tenner on Ireland, he upped it to a tank of fuel, (400 litres), Ireland lost. How a tenner turned into 400 litres of fuel I will never know, maybe the Rarebit is clevererer than I thunk.

The nice thing is I know where he lives, and his prodigy is coming across the Irish sea with me on the wonderful Wolf. A hostage takin comes to mind.

What bet? And we haven't even started negotiating?

Now the English... Maps Nine Fingers O'Hayward, (we are buggered if he ever has to point the way) has lost the command of his English judging by his last post.

Seems I owe him a hug though, me and the Rarebit did wind on a bit but then again it was important to establish Celtic superiority on behalf of the Irish. Maps being such a polite chap obviously felt left out. If you see him give him a hug. Have you hugged your Maps today?

The Americans are great really, the dollar is heading the wrong way but if your off to Florida with the Family, sher you can't go wrong. Although I think the wifie will extract all benefit of dollar and the fact I'm off around England and spend every last penny.

Now the Japanese. God bless Suzuki. The new DF300 is fab, the new fly by wire throttles groovy, but god help you if you try to build a boat with a dual helm which Wolf has. The Rarebit has spent the last week cursing everything Japanese and trying to get the 2 throttles to communicate with each other, and with the engine. "I'm gonna splice it" he kept saying whilst foaming at the mouth. "Call Suzuki" he told me, "Give 'em hell" he lurched. It's a good job the flowers were still alive, they were needed at least 6 times this week when he broke more furniture.

Suzuki, in fairness were brilliant. They were getting ready to send an engineer in to darkest Wales, which actually turned out to be a bit of a situation in itself. Dave, the friendly Suzi engineer, when he heard about heading to Wales ran away to Australia, I'm not kidding. They had to draw straws but finally a brave sole was volunteered to head to Wales.

The Rarebit then had a break through this afternoon and finally managed to turn the instructions up the right way and read them correctly. All was not lost, it turns out that a thingy in the computer need tweaking and the Japanese had written that bit in JAPANESE of all things. The Rarebit has gone out for a Chinese with the Family this evening in celebration, I hope he can read the menu!

Finally, a dear auld uncle of mine called me the other day.

"Fancy catching a few Salmon in British Columbia" he said. "Can we go after lunch" I said, "I'm fierce busy trying to calm down the Rarebit" I said.

"Wha" he said, "Sher, British Colombia is in Canada ya eeegit" and "sher, it's miles away"

Mac.

Flat Earth

I "MAPS, Nine Digits" Hayward was asked to meet him wat had the money and him wats building the boat and using/taking the money, in a shed, a mile or two beyond the back of beyond in deepest darkest Wales. In fact, for all those who are members of the "Flat Earth Society" I am sure I have just visited one of the corners of said Flat Earth!!!

Having visited the shed in this wind swept part of the world I can confirm at least that said Noah's Ark MKII does actually exist........but here's the thing..... I am not sure how!!!

I was invited to visit the shed and see the boat to talk about all things nautical and maybe give some input on decisions regarding positioning of various bits of kit. Correct me if I am wrong but to give "input" requires being able to get at least a word in edge ways. Well, standing between an Irishman & a Welshman what chance was there of that??!!!!

Not getting said "word in edgeways" did not bother me one single jot but what was so amazing was that there before me was a nearly completed boat that must have required a certain amount of communication between said Irishman and Welshman. What I witnessed was two people talking but neither listening .......and to think they have only been married 3 months!! To be fair though I really should reserve judgement as it might not have been that no one was listening but merely a language barrier which makes the building of ARK MkII even more impressive!!!

Inspite of the monumental blagarding going on between boatbuilder and client I can report that Wolf has been born and should be floating mid April........I am not sure which way up and I don't think the Welshman is sure either but Wolf will be floating.

The only remaining thing that does worry me though is that the sea trials are going to be periliously close to the edge of the world and I for one don't want to be going and falling off before this epic race even starts!!!

signing off

yours truely

Maps, Nine digits

And now your building another Ark...

Sent from the mad boat builder having taken the pee last night, what hope have we got?

Mac,

Reminds me of that old film with James Stewart where things seem ever so bad.

Anyhow I have just checked my text messages and e-mail and note a "few" communications from our Celtic Brethern across the water.
(Mac foaming at the mouth, The Mad Boat Builder Chuckling)

Now the rant
I was quite taken aback and almost asked my Pa for some water from the holy well as I could not believe that a man of such standing could be so concerned with tiny matters such as Noah's boat (Wolf) (in fairness that boat never sank but got stuck on a rock called Arrarat and cause it left Noah F.A. left to do God felt obliged to pull the plug and let the water out of the bath- that's when the Syrians got a bit pissed off as they were higher up than the said to become Jews as they reckoned they were in for a mega win .... that's another story

(and you building a f..ing Ark again).

After a bad day chasing silly buggers for no reason I did enjoy a call from my most expensive client (Mac) (at my cost that is) and even him calling me a s..t! (trust me it's the cleaner version)

That's life ... as they say ...A Wonderful Life !!!

I hope this thing floats - hows the diet.

Regards,
J (aka Mad Boat Builder)

and if this bloody thing floats can we please post all these mails on the web site one day !(Your wish is my command) tee hee hee......

and ... I am sure you have seen the film a Wonderful Life ... if not then it is a must if you try too take to much out of this world.

Yes folks, it's official, I have finally managed to crack him and who knows what will happen to the boat. Make the bad man stop........

Mac. (Now known as Noah)

p.s. For all those overly sensitive out there we reservedly apologise, and that includes the sheep. Any historical, geographical, philosophical or other inaccuracies are as a result of a poor education, send money instead of having a go.

Wolf Is Alive....and living is Wales

Proof that Wolf exists has been sent from deepest darkest Hull where boat creators Humber reside.

Sue, the very nice lady there has kindly forward the first pictures of the new delivery and of course we have to show you all.

The mystery and suspense...

It brings a tear to my eye. Speaking of tears, that Welsh half-wit who is building the boat sent me a text yesterday that said "Boat is here but there " with NOTHING else. What the hell did that mean?

Having picked myself off the floor I rang him, no answer, I sent him a text, no answer, I emailed him, no answer. errrggggggh!

Finally he rang at about 9pm last night chuckling merrily at the fact that he had managed to take the piss and that in fact Wolf was safely tucked up in bed with his wife and he was sleeping in the shed. Now I know why he bought a new bed. Bless.

See his warblings on the next post. Questionable at best....

There could be trouble ahead!

Mac.

Great News.............

Stan has finally managed to acquire a new mobile home for the Family. He is very excited at finally owning his own and is looking forward to many happy years in the new holiday abode.

So proud in fact he has sent me a picture for all to enjoy.

Congrat's and we hope he can tear himself away long enough to take part in the Race this June. Difficult decision but then again Stan is your man.....

Mac