Pointless, Legless, Useless and Penniless.

The Crew just won't grow up. Try as I might to get them to act responsibly they just will not listen.

This weekend marked the second full training weekend for Wolf and Crew. The plan was that the UK contingent would come over and we would run Wolf down the West Cork coast to Crookhaven. Pointless brought the wife and kids and Revlon (Useless) brought a hire car. (Long Story).

Stumley (Legless) and The Bad Man (Penniless) prepared the boat, loaded thousands of litres of petrol and off we went. Useless joined later by car. The weather was magnificent and the conditions somewhat misleading but we made it in 1 Hour and 36 minutes. Not bad, and we finally worked out what propeller we needed.

A brief stop in Cape Clear looking for light refreshments failed. When we enquired when the Pub opened we got a brief but concise response, "Mary will be back in a while" and when we asked how soon she would be back we got a muttered "October".

On to Crookhaven. Emma was open, (so was the pub) and the beer was cold.

The following morning Penniless decided that the fact that Useless had brought a hire car and would have to return by road to Cork on Sunday we should all head to Bantry on another training run. Penniless woke Pointless, then woke the B&B owner to get Useless out of bed and then visited every mobile home in Crookhaven looking for Legless.

Much cursing later, 1 or 2 very sick heads, and we went to Bantry.

Why? Not sure really but probably because we could. 1 hour and 5 minutes there and the same coming back. Wolf took a fairly snotty head sea all the way up Bantry Bay and actually liked it. Pointless said it was his driving skills but myself and Legless believe it was the abuse we gave him from the back every time he dared to drop below 30 knots.

Things like "Where's your booster seat ya Muppet!" and "Go on ya big girls blouse!" and other niceties like that encouraged him to try racing and forget sightseeing. (He actually searched for his camera)

Running the other way was actually worse.

We got 40 knots off Whiddy and we reckon Useless actually has a use. If we fling him overboard we will get 2 extra knots. Ballast comes to mind.

Saturday night was one of blurred confirmation. Munster won the rugby, and of course we had to celebrate. Useless scared the locals with his dress sense, Heron's Cove for dinner at 9pm where we were joined by Pulsar's UK Manager Side Show Bob and his lovely Wife. They came over for a few days holidays, but They will probably need counselling after we finished with Them on Saturday night.

Now you may be wondering why all these stupid names. I have given this much thought and simply,

"you had to be there".

Way too much wine, far too much beer, and of course we thought we were hilarious. Just laugh at the T-Shirts............

Sunday was a bit more like it. Useless was in his Yaris, and the Rest of the Crew were heading to Cork on board Wolf. Force 6-7, very nasty head sea, a very wet crew, and 3 and a half hours later we made Kinsale. Yuck......

Things we learned this weekend:

1. Wolf is still a great boat.
2. Crookhaven and Goleen in the Sunshine is heaven.
3. Heron's Cove is still fantastic.
4. You can have a chacklist for everything.
5. Pub's do not open in Cape Clear. Apparently until October.
6. Pub opening times should be on a checklist.
7. "A" Frame's and Raydomes do not work well together.
8. We need a stainless steel welding machine!
9. Changing to a correct prop helps.
10. Stumley is chewing Champax. We haven't the heart to tell him what they are really for.
11. Drysuits are better on you, than in a drybag.
12. The WOP's can drink Limoncello with a vengeance.
13. Grabbner life jackets are actually very good.
14. There are way too many bloody headlands coming back to Kinsale.
15. No Useless, the shark was not a Great White.
16. Petrol is cheaper in Goleen. We saved a whopping €8 Euro's. There is a god.
17. Useless is actually very good at checklists.

Any hoo, enough waffle. More next weekend when we run to Sherkin with a large group of boats. Weather permitting it should be good fun.

Mac.

The Wolf and the Rarebit......

What a way to travel.

Me (The Bad Man), Revlon, Pointless and Stumley headed of on a big adventure recently to the wilds of Wales on Wolf. The logic was to test the boat, bang it about a bit as we crossed the Irish sea, and when we got there give it to the Rarebit so he can put all the bits that fell off back on.

In reality we joined the great Team of organisers and slightly mad Ribsters who made up the flotilla that was the 2008 Kinsale to Milford Haven Rib Run in support of the RNLI. 17 Boats and crew departed Kinsale on the 24th heading to Dunmore East in Waterford, a course of about 70 miles.

Conditions were forecast to be an Easterly wind blowing at about force 4-6 and with a good swell. The run to Waterford fooled us all. Going was relatively painless (Shockwave Seats) and we made port in about 3 & 1/2 hours. We had 2 boats withdrawn due to mechanical failure and one that had some running repairs but did make it over to Milford Haven.

Wolf lost a Nav Light but to be fair it was mounted on one of those pretty bracket thingies that looks good but didn't last the Sovereigns (20 Mins). Other than that everything worked fine.

Then the fun started. What should have been a reasonable crossing turned into an 8 hour slog. The sea state was so poor that it was a battle just to stay on course and maintain any sort of pace. We finally arrived in MIlford Haven at about 8pm, cold, hungry, but very very pleased with the boat. We had experienced conditions that tested both Crew and Boat and apart from a major soaking Wolf handled everything really well.

More useless stuff we have learned:

1. Wolf is a lot better than we had hoped for.


2. Dry Suits are bugger all good in a dry bag strapped to the Samson post in the bow.


3. Pretty Nav Light and GPS brackets are a waste of time on an A Frame.


4. Smoking at 35 Knots is a waste of time. (Stumley)


5. You Pee a lot in the first hour and a Zip the opens both ways is a must have.


6. Revlon cant sing.


7. Ski Goggles in the cold and wet work brilliantly. Sunglasses are crap.


8. Smoking at 30 Knots doesn't work either. (Stumley)


9. Water gets in to everything and Lidl Wet Pants are not good value even if they were the right colour. (Stumley)


10. Pointless has a point, Radar in a fog is very handy.


11. Shockwave seats Rock.


12. The Rarebits Wife can drink with the boys.


13. The Rarebits Wife can drink like the boys. (Except Revlon for obvious reasons)


14. Bad Mans Wife can drink more than the boys.


15. Pointless's Wife needs to get out more, 4 times indeed. Maybe we should call him Countless instead.


16. Stumley forgot he was one of the boys.


17. Smoking at 25 Knots doesn't work either. (Stumley.....again)


18. Revlon's Wife cant sing either and the Sat Nav is bloody wrong darling...


19. Things go better in a flat calm sea.


20. Things do fall off......


21. Pointless told Stumley smoking was pointless at 20 knots which in itself was pointless.


22. The Shed Restaurant in Porthgain and Morgans in St. Davids are both excellent.


23. The Kinsale Ribsters are totally certifiably mad.


24. Everybody likes Lamb.... sssssshhhkkk.... and a warm Chinati Darling.

To say we had an interesting weekend is an understatement and the topping on the cake was running over the bow wave of a large Ferry at 28 knots in a fog. God bless Radar and AIS.

Thanks to all involved in our adventure on behalf of Wolf and Crew. To all at Quinquari Marine for putting up with us, for drinking with us, for putting the bits back on, and for showing us the wonderful hospitality Wales has to offer.

To Mike Rogers and his Wife at Tubed Ltd for their hot tea, warm welcome and cool graphics. Excellent talented people in Wales.

To the organisers of the Kinsale Rib Run. Well done, brilliant trip and continued success.

And last but obvioulsy not least the WOPS for all their continued support.

A pleasure and some new friends made along the way.

Mac.

Make the Bad Man go away.

A fine weekend was had by all in St Davids with much celebration not to mention a successful first sea trial of the simply awesome Wolf. However I am here to report on a key activity of the weekend, attempting to give each crew member a nickname.

The nature of nicknames and the reasons that they get associated to an individual are numerous and quite hard to define but for whatever reason some times they just "stick". To date I think we potentially have three "stickers" so lets have a quick review;

Guy
Was Maps due to his unquestionable depth of navigational skills and experience. However this has been superseded by the perfect sticker Pointless. Why did it stick;

1. Descriptive, well yes.
2. Humorous yes (I refer to point 3).
3. Cruel and a little unsympathetic undoubtedly, but a term of endearment.

Stan
Stumley which is best delivered as a bit of a bellow with plenty of emphasis on the "ley". When in trouble just shout Stumleeeeey and the man who mends will be at hand. Why did it stick;

1. Humorous yes, it's just funny.
2. Descriptive, I can't explain why but strangely yes.
3. A term of endearment.

Justin
Bad Man which is of course very unfair because he just isn't but, in the nature of nicknames, is possibly why this one will stick. Justin waking a hungover team at an ungodly hour to our cries of "make the Bad Man go away" became the catchphrase of the weekend. Why did it stick;

1. Humorous yes.
2. Descriptive well no, therefore yes.
3. Inappropriate yes and therefore an ideal term of endearment.

I could well see this one being shortened to BM which could also be Big Mac, which again follows the trend because the Bad Man is not big.

Paul
I was called many names over the weekend, so many in fact that the origins of some have been lost in the "haze" of the occasion and some are frankly unrepeatable.

Numbers, Dyson, Revlon, Carrots, Dozey, Ballast, Sleepy, Tight Pants..... the list went on and on however, and please correct me if I am wrong, none of them was a really sticker.

I know its coming, it will just take one incident, one mistake or some smart arse comment and bang a hypocorism ( you will have to Google that one) will stick.